Sunday, February 28, 2010

Red Headed Step Child

What to post about?  Lately I have had major anxiety, over everything.  This includes friends, work, school, everything!  I go places and feel very frustrated.  I think it really shows sometimes.  Church has become a wierd place for me to go.  I feel like I have lots of friends (that is not the truth, but that is for another post), but I feel weird.  Kolbie is having issues with friends, Jill is Jill, Chris says no one cares if he is there anyways.  What to do??? BUT that is not what I want to post about.

Sometimes we get sucked into the why me stage, we forget about the blessings we have.  I have a place to live (at least for now).  My kids go to school and try, but they have a school.  I have a family that I love, and I have a job.  What else can I ask for.  My life is good, sometimes it is better than I deserve. 

Right after Jill and I were married we got involved in Amway.  Not the smartest decision we have ever made.  We never made it rich in fact I think I lost money and some friends in the process.  Inviting someone over and then ambushing them with a multilevel marketing scheme does not bode well for the future of a friendship.  In that process I did have a couple of great learning opportunities.  One of those were some cool positive learning experiences.  My first was a book by David Swartz called The Magic of Thinking Big.  I have read this book several times.  It helps me to see my life in a different light.  The other good thing I found was a song called Cat's In The Cradle (LP Version).  These two things have been with me for a long time.

Now is the time to harness these ideas and work on my life to produce a better life.  I need to be propelled towards sucess.  Positive and productive thoughts will help me to suceed.  Jill and are in sort of financial problem, but I know that we can make it.  Why not try the hardest I can.  Church will be church, what am I really there for, social? not! My testimony growth is what I need to grasp.  I am not perfect, I do not have a temple reccomend, but I can try.  Kolbie's friend problem will be a battle.  She can find a better way.  If that means changing friends then so be it.  She is a beautiful girl and if someone wants her not to be happy then she will find someone else.  Chris can do it.  He has put his mind to the play thing and he is suceeding.  He will find a way to achieve greater respect from those around him.  We have a great big labrotory to practice and experiment.  There are more opportunities for us.  Think Success, not failure.  Now I need to start living that advice.  Get to the top by following the plan. 

Sorry to put you through my self motivation, but it will help me to get the results I need.  Thank you!

4 comments:

The Wibergs said...

I hear you Greg. Keep hanging in there. Although the social aspect of church is feeling wierd to you, I guarantee that your family is known and loved. We're all just wrapped up in our own little dramas and have a hard time taking care of each other. (That's my excuse at least.) I felt really out of place and wierd about it for years. Just hang in there and keep going. Suddenly it's not awkward anymore and you'll realize your surrounded by buddies. And you're completely right, it's not the social stuff we're after there anyways.

Money sucks. Our plan is to win it big in the lottery. But dang it you have to play to win--so I guess we'll never make it big. ;)

Aly said...

Way to get it all in order Greg. You are a great guy with a great family, and it sounds like you are ready to move forward.

As for Kolbie, we hardly ever see her anymore, but she is always welcome here and as far as I know her and Annie get along better than any two little friends I've ever seen.

Chuck said...

Greg, I have also been in a "funk", with that being said I found the problem to be me. I am currently reading a book that has helped me understand that I am at war. All of us have struggles and most of the time it is with declaring war with ourselves. We all have opportunities to make decisions, to serve others, and contribute. When we are slow to follow these natural desires we begin to create justification for our actions. When we are challenged we then create walls that will become thicker over time. In the end we may be right with our reasons for feeling "frustrated". But we are caught in supporting conversations that support our first actions of NOT reacting to serve, support, or even contribute.

In simple terms, we may see our wives doing the dishes, we are frustrated with a messy house. But we choose to sit on the couch instead of supporting. We feel bad and then we begin the justification of poor me attitudes, or I deserve a moment because I work all day long attitude. Then the process begins and we are back at war.

Now as for church... you must find yourself at peace. The adversary will do everything he can to support your walls of frustration. That is why I believe so many fall away. If we are offended, or mis understood, or right with why we feel the way we do. We may choose to not get involved and then we start the war over again. We find ourselves in conversations that support our frustrations and we continue to feed the fire.

I don't normally express my opinion to people. If I didn't care about you and your family I wouldn't have posted. Chris is a value to the lords errand. I don't need to say more. I will never forget the time when President Monson became the prophet. I wasn't a Monson fan, but I became one when he said "if you have been offended, come back".

Find your peace and all things will come into play. If this doesn't help you, then I will give you a hug.

Let me know if I can help, Chuck

Unknown said...

Hope you know how much your friendship (and Jill's) has meant to us over the years!!