Friday, December 25, 2009

Thanks Dad!!!!

I have come the full circle as a Man, Dad, Son and ...well Male. I am not the inexperienced prude I once was. In fact the last couple of weeks I have had the chance to think about lots of the past oh 40 years of my wonderful life. In that time I have experienced lots of embarrassing and difficult situations. It had to have started early on in my life maybe 4th grade. Mrs. Class taught health and my friends tormented me for weeks that my phalanges were showing. I was really worried that some part of my whitey tighties was poking out or something. Come to find out phalanges means fingers or toes, but from then on I have tried my best to stay on top of it.
Can you remember the racing of your heart on that first "real" date? Was a kiss or hold of the hand in the cards? Curtis Sanchez dropped me into the fire by finding the church up in the top of the avenues that looked over the entire valley. Needless to say I left that night with a little less gum and no more school ring. (See in those days that meant something if she would wear your school ring, Thank you Jostens!) Those experiences led to more "mature" chances in college and later on to marriage. Men are different from Women if you have not noticed. One week into my married life and I was at the grocery store buying bulk toilet paper so, as a yelled across the store... "Jill we can shit all we want". Needless to say I should have kept my mouth shut. I think I was well into marriage before I had to venture into the feminine hygiene section of the store. For us males this is like the bra section, it is fine to look at from a distance, but do not enter. There should be fortress walls here. We should not be allowed to enter. Heck what is the difference between wings and no wings? Who knows!!
Now that time of the month as a husband is a good thing.... No babies coming! I sweat it out quite a few months. It does weird things to the women though. I have not experienced that for sometime because Jill had one of those rip em out operations a few years ago, but I have come to find out that it is approaching me from a different angle now. As Dad, raging bull fighter, muscle man, and expert marksman. For if some boy even approaches my daughters wrong, I will unleash the fury, and I can probably be seen inside the walls of those forbidden areas at the super market. This time for my little girls. "Is there a problem in the health department?" No way, I am here super Dad!

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