I have been told,  and being the begining of the year maybe I should listen.  Usaually we like to step back and think about things we would like to change about ourselves this time of year.  Weight loss, stop drinking Coke, stop swearing, get better control of our finances.  You know all of the usual stuff.  It becomes an annual tradition and almost a joke.  How long can you keep up the "revolutions" as Kolbie calls them.   In all truth aren't they really revolutions.  How many times do we go round and round with the same goals and expectations only to loose focus after 3 or 4 weeks.  Can I do it?  Can I keep it up for more than 17% of the year 2010?  I am not going to do it.  I love myself already, no changes will be made in 2010.... except for my weight, drinking less coke, and my finances need some controling. 
BUT, this brings about my subject for the day.  I was told, in a small voice something much more important.  My life is full of ups and downs.  Mostly in the emotional things.  Sometimes I feel very outgoing and entergetic and other times not so much.  I need to admit that lately not so much.  I find myself sitting at the the back of church wondering why I do not talk to anyone or where my "fun self" has gone.  Then I look around at everyone else and you know what I see?  Lots of other people thinking the same thing.  I can tell, they sit on the bench and shake someones hand and say hi, but that is it.  Where have we all gone?
I am not part of the "in" crowd, Once I was part of the "vikings", (rape, pillage and plunder), not a great club for a bunch of missionaries though huh?  Today I find myself watching from a far.  My wife does not feel as comfortable around big crowds, so I stay away.    I don't blame her sometimes.  Just the energy of trying to remember who is friends with who and what I can say to them makes my head spin.  Chris struggles with his friends lots and I worry about what it does to him.  This year I shift my expectations to myself.  I could care less if you like me or not.  I am me, so just get over it. 

As for my resolutions.  That small voice said "why do you have to be so mean?"  Can I be nicer?  I am going to try it.  Just don't drink my Coke!