Sunday, January 4, 2009

Help me with a problem......

I am going to get in so much trouble....... Oh well,

I have a friend, relative or acquiantance that has moved away from her family for the first time in her life. My sister... (oops) moved to Spokane a month ago as some of you may know. I am worried about her. See, this is the first time that she has ever been "away" from home. I do not want her to be sad and miss her family. So, I am trying to think of how I did it when I have lived a way from the homestead.

I have never been to Spokane, but I am sure that there is plenty of new things to see. I would try to get out of the house and explore the area. That can be hard in the winter time, but try some close places first. The Library, I am sure they read in other places than here. Or a mall, You do not need to buy anything just go for a walk. Is there a gym near by or even a scrapbook store. Just keep busy. That will keep your mind off the miles from Mom.

Next I would suggest your ward. Become involved, the church is different in places other than Utah. Demand a calling form the Bishop or call the Relief Society President to see if they need any help. I am sure the young women would be happy to help with Jayda and Jaycee once in a while so you can have some "free" time. Can your neighbors use some help with something else? The ward will have activities for you to be involved in.... do it.

Hobbies, I know that you like to scrapbook, but never have the time. Do it, try some new things. Read a book or two. Is there a book club that you can join? ask the Relief Society they might know. I will bet the girls will like a matinee movie every once in a while and they are usually cheap. Is there a play group or pre school you can get Jayda into? These are all great hobbies for you.

Last but not least is your testimony, build it. It is a good time for you to learn on your own. The Gospel can be a strength to you.

With technology we are not that far away. (Heck the webcam will let you see my ugly mug anytime you want). We love you Jay and pray that everything will be great.

NOW... I would ask everyone Else's help. Some of you have more experience than I do at being a long way from home. Can you leave a comment about what you do or have done to get used to living somewhere else. I would appreciate it. Thanks

7 comments:

Lynne said...

I have a good friend who is originally from Spokane and another who lived there for 3 years...if you'd like me to ask them about local things to do etc. I'd be happy to...just let me know!

Aly said...

That would be tough...I thought all of your suggestions were nice. She will need friends for support and that takes some time, my brother lived out of state for several years and their friends filled the spots where family normally would. They would invite other families over for Sunday dinner and things of that nature. They still keep in touch with those friends--they're like extentions of family now.

Aly said...

P.S. What a sweet brother you are, looking out for your sister:)

Julie said...

I would say to her that she needs to find things for her and the girls to do, story time at the library, playgroups things like that where she will be able to meet other mothers with children. All of your suggestions were good too....tell her we miss her, and it will get better.

Jenny said...

I've now lived away from my family for 15 years...almost half of my life. Wow! That sounds more dramatic than it feels. When I first moved from home it was to go to college, and i was so busy and had such an active social life that it wasn't that bad. But here are the suggestions, in addition to those already shared, that I would have.

Jaylynn,

First, make it a priority to make friends. Whether that be by joining a book club or playgroup or by deciding to have another couple or family over for dinner or a game night, make friends. Reach out to others.My mom was telling me that they recently were invited to a young couple's home for dinner. They found out that this couple invites someone else over every month on the second Sunday of the month for dinner.

I echo Greg's suggestion to keep in touch with family here... via phone, internet, letters, etc. My kids absolutely love it when their grandma sends them a card in the mail. When you get loney give one of us a call. On the other hand, calling too often can lead to more homesickness... so you have to be careful and know yourself on that one. It's so much easier/faster to correspond via internet or phone, but Greg, I'd encourage your family to send letters or cards from time to time. There's something special about getting personal mail.

Attend Enrichment activities/nights. Attend ward activities. Invite the missionaries for dinner; they may know of a family that could really use fellowship and they always appreciate a meal. Find ways to serve (like you suggested, Greg).

Have date night with Jeremy. Make that a priority...it will be harder without having family nearby to babysit, but find some one you trust and go out with Jeremy regularly. In the meantime, do date night like my friend Kristy does when she can't get a babysitter... put the kids to bed early, get take out for your and your spouse and then watch a movie or play a game just the two of you.

Rely on the Lord. Build your relationship with him. Know that we love you and miss you! But also remember that you prayed about this decision and that it was the right one. When you are lonely or have a hard day, remember that there is a reason for you to be there (and while Jeremy's job is part of it, I'm sure there are other reasons for your family to be there too!) and that you will be blessed.

Heather said...

When we lived in Wendover, I got Dalin involved in as many things as possible at the rec center. This forced me to leave our home and get out. I made some friends and survived. You can do it!!!

Unknown said...

Having lived away from family myself several times I just wanted to echo the suggestions you gave to your sister - very wise and insightful brother you are! Following any/or all of your suggestions will help with the transition but also the truth is - it just takes time. Moving away from family is a big adjustment! Hope she is doing ok!